Funeral Etiquette 101: Know Your Place

8 Nov

This post was inspired by recent events at work. Working in the funeral business I see a lot of crazy shit but what sparked this post absolutely infuriated me.

Know this, if you are not the spouse, parent or child of the deceased, you have zero say in how they choose to put their loved one to rest. And I mean ZERO! Whether you agree in the method of disposition (burial or cremation or something else) or not, you are to keep your mouth shut. If you feel the service should be public and not private, as the family would like, that is just too damn bad.

Recently we had a woman who lost her husband and just didn’t think she could handle public services. Her husband was well known and very well liked in the area and there is no doubt his service would have been huge. A huge service was something that she couldn’t endure, totally understandable, right? Well not for everyone.

This poor woman was basically bullied into allowing her husband’s coworkers to attend her final goodbye. She didn’t want flowers, they insisted on sending flowers.

Let me be very clear, this behavior is completely and totally unacceptable. Unless you are family, a funeral is not given for you. A funeral is something to help the family close this chapter of their loved one’s life. What you want and how you feel has absolutely no bearing.

A much better idea would have been for his coworkers to throw their own memorial or celebration of life. They could invite his wife but she wouldn’t be obligated to endure the spectacle.

To bully or pressure a grieving family to get your way is really shitty. Your job is to respect the wishes of the family and keep your damn mouth shut. Here’s an idea, how about you offer to be helpful? Cook a meal. Pick up kids. Offer something to take the load off their grief.

It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly selfish people can be, even when someone is experiencing one of their darkest hours. Please…PLEASE put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if someone was pressuring you when you were trying to plan the final goodbye of someone you love.

A good funeral home will work as a buffer to the outside world when required. In this case, we omitted service information from the obituary. When people called or stopped by to inquire we informed them that services are private and we were unable to give out this information.

You’d be surprised at the stunts people will pull to try and trick us into giving out information, it really is despicable.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I invite you to enjoy the rest of your day.


My Dog Is Completely Obsessed With My Husband

3 Nov

Back in May a local rescue reached out to me about a tiny Yorkie they had coming on a transport from Alabama. I fell in love with her picture and started the process of talking Bill into a third dog.

On the day the transport arrived I made my way over to the rescue to meet my newest baby. She was even smaller than she looked in the picture, coming in at just under three pounds. When I reached in to grab her out of her crate she tried to bite me and wouldn’t let me pick her up. Eventually we just dumped her out of the crate and she finally let me pick her up.

I wasn’t too sure this one was going to work out but she was too cute not to try.

Welcome Home Bella

She fit in immediately.

Bella enjoyed all the attention and quickly let us know that she was a total princess. Belly rubs are a favorite but she also loves her, “bedtime brushies”.

At first she’d hang close to me, like my little shadow. That didn’t last long.

Bella picked her person

And it wasn’t me!

Bella waiting at the door for her daddy!

She is completely obsessed with Bill, she follows him everywhere he goes. She only likes to sit with him. Bella snuggles close to Bill in bed, so much so that I’m worried she’s going to be crushed. The most disturbing thing though is how she reacts when I hug or kiss or even just try to be near Bill.

Like a jealous girlfriend she goes nuts. She barks and growls then tries to get between us. If she could talk I’m sure she’d say, “Get away from my man you bitch!”

The other morning when Logan put on sports radio while he showered, Bella jumped up as soon as she heard the DJ’s voice. She ran to the bathroom door and started sniffing underneath it to sniff out her daddy. Clearly she associates that DJ’s voice with hanging out in the office with Bill and she thought he’d returned home without letting her know.

Why him?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little hurt and jealous that Bella picked Bill. I know it’s ridiculous.

He didn’t even want her! I had to jump through hoops of fire to have him agree to bring another dog into the house. If it wasn’t for me, who knows where she would have ended up.

Bella was supposed to be my dog!

He loves her too

She is like the daughter he never had. He picks her up whenever she wants him to. He’ll carry her around and he always makes sure her blankie is close at hand.

It’s easy to see that, much like he is her favorite human, she is his favorite dog. Bella is Bill’s sidekick and while I’m a little jealous of my three pound dog, I think it’s kind of cute.

Any tips on how I can compete for Bella’s affection? Bill has the clear advantage being that he works from home while I’m out in an office all day. Help me make her love me too!

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