Potty Training Stinks!

25 Sep

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…A kind, nurturing woman in her late 50’s, early 60’s with a nice big house could make a killing as a potty trainer. All parent’s have to do is drop their child off for a week or so and when they come back to get them, they are totally potty trained. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I would pay any amount of money for such a place and such a woman.

A little more than two weeks ago I had had enough of changing Cameron’s diapers and started (probably prematurely) to try and potty train him. The first few days were all about asking every two minutes if he had to go and he usually said no until I turned my back, then he would pee on the rug. Now I am not a patient person by nature, so trying to remain calm when my house smelled like a kennel and I was changing about 10 pairs of underwear a day was almost more than I could take. I was at one point brought to bribery and I will admit I threatened him more then once with losing toys and other privileges. I just couldn’t help but think that by the 5th day his “accidents” didn’t seem like accidents at all, more like rebellion.

Along the way we’ve had our setbacks, but we’ve also had our triumphs. Our first day out without diapers I was petrified, a long car ride to the bank and a play date at the park with all his potty trained friends. The way to the bank I must have asked a million times if he had to go. Of course he said yes while we were on the highway. I pulled into the closest parking lot and got him out. After about five minutes of standing holding his “weewee” standing on a curb, we were on our way. We would pull over one more time before getting back home, he never did go, but I think he liked standing there. At the park, nervous that he’s forget he had to go and wet his pants I asked frequently if he needed to go. His answer was always the same, “Nopers”. I noticed he was wandering away from his friends and towards the parking lot and I told him to come back. “No Mommy, I have to go potty.” Leaving Logan with the other Mommies, we ran like the wind. Once we got in to the bathroom, he took one look at the toilet and freaked out, this became the first time he would pee outside. I think I nearly peed myself laughing; my little 3 year old with his pants around his ankles holding his junk peeing on a bush. Boy was he proud, and man did he get some distance!

Now that I’m tired of having a potty seat in my kitchen, we’re working on standing at the big toilet to go. Break out the cleaning supplies, three year old boys tend to miss. Oh, remember the bribery I told you about? I think it might be back firing on me now. The kid now expects a treat every time he pees on the potty. In fact, when I was on the phone yesterday, he got up, went potty then helped himself to the M&M’s in my candy jar. He insisted he was just getting his treat for using the potty. HELP!!! I’ve created a monster!

I want to hear your funny potty training stories, email me at MyLifeInMommyland@me.com and tell me your stories.

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