This Mommy needs an opportunity.

17 Jun

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it a few times recently, but I’ll remind you again. I’ve gone back to working outside of our happy little home. I interviewed for, was offered and accepted the Part Time Sales Lead position at my local Gymboree. It’s a nights and weekends kind of job, which leaves me giving up a nice chunk of our coveted family time.

I’m sure I’ve also mentioned from time to time how becoming a mother has changed everything. My eyesight has been altered. My body has become proportioned quite a bit differently. And I’m a few pound heavier than I was in my prime. But the biggest change of all has been one not easily seen from the outside, it’s more of a personality thing. I hate to throw labels around, but if I had to label it I would call it social anxiety disorder (or something like that). Or maybe I’ve just become shy due to my lack of communication with the world outside Mommyland.

This debilitating shyness has made going to work a challenge. I blast my music on the way in to avoid thinking about the hours to come. The time just drags because I don’t want to be there. I find myself sweating when I have to talk to people, and I’ve been completely tongue tied on more than one occasion. The anxiety I feel just thinking about the job is indescribable.

Lets go back to the family time that I’m giving up by going to work. Kids are smarter and more intuitive than lots of people give them credit for. I think my boys understand that something is up, and they’re not happy about it. The other day when I left, Cameron asked Bill why I was going to work. Bill told him that it was so we had some extra money for the new house…Which is true. Cameron’s response to that was, “I’ll give mama my money so she doesn’t have to go to work.” My 4 year old son was willing to give me the contents of his John Deere bank to keep me home. Talk about heart breaking. It makes me so sad to have to leave him knowing how much he wants me to be home with him.

Add to my debilitating shyness, and sadness for leaving my family the fact that the job sucks and you have one unhappy mama. I know a lot of you would love to work at Gymboree for nothing more than the discount (which is pretty substantial), but for me the pay doesn’t make all the stress and aggravation worth it.

I’m hanging in there for now, but this is NOT what I want to be doing no matter how much we need the money. I’m still (very) actively looking for something I can do from home. The paid blogging never really panned out, but I’m not ready to give up yet.

I’m excited to get my first assignment writing for someone else. I have been selected to write an article for Turkey Hill’s Ice Cream Journal; talk about a SWEET job. With any luck this is a door opening for bigger and better things for Mommyland.

As always, I’m open to suggestions. Do you work from home? How did you get into it? I’m not looking to get rich here, I just want to bring in enough to cover the Jeep payment or the food bill. Thanks for any suggestions you might have.

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