Sidelined Yet Again

21 Apr

Running is probably one of my favorite things in the world. I don’t always want to go out and do it but I’ve never, EVER regretted the choice to go out and run.

This time last year I was in an amazing place. I felt strong, healthy and I was getting ready for my first major race since high school. The Broad Street Run was a spectacular experience and I couldn’t wait to run it again.

It wasn’t long after Broad Street that the nagging injuries started to pop up. Aches and pains here and there that I had never felt before and an iliotibial band injury that really slowed me down this past fall.

I’m pretty sure the world knows how bad this winter was and that put a major kink in my running, which left me open to overuse injury as I rushed to get ready for two half marathons that were only two weeks apart.

Fast forward to now.

The pain started after the second half marathon. For the first couple days after I had pain in my lower legs but after three or four days that pain became focused in my right foot and ankle. BAD pain! The pain was there all the time and often woke me up at night. Ice and ibuprofen became my best friends. That constant pain would occasionally become a sharp, shooting, stabbing pain that would make me see stars and would come on with no warning whatsoever.

Three weeks I went without running. I iced, took ibuprofen regularly, elevated the foot when I could and tried to work it out with the foam roller. Slowly the pain started to fade and it wasn’t there all time time but the occasional shooting pain was still there. With Broad Street a couple weeks away I needed to get back out there, so after three weeks that’s what I did.

It wasn’t horrible but there was significant pain. My hope was beginning to be restored. I could tell that I was favoring that foot and that I definitely had a slight limp in my gait but I pushed on. Then I ran today and lost all hope. Not only do I have the pain in my foot and ankle on my right side but because of the way I’m running I’ve irritated that IT band again. Both of my legs are ready to call it quits. Now it hurts to bend my left knee and put weight on my right foot.

Take me out back behind the barn.

Realizing that I would have to defer for Broad Street this year and sit it out was like a knife to the chest. Realizing that I’m not going to spend these beautiful spring mornings on the road logging in the miles makes me sick. I spent the first half of my day unable to stop crying and I get a feeling there are more tears to come.

Running has become my religion. My sanity. My release. One of very few things that makes me truly happy. A great deal of my self worth comes from my ability to run and run well. I am proud of the things I’ve accomplished in my running shoes and I want more.

Some of you might think I’m crazy but I’ll ask you to take something that you love, something you excel at, something that makes you feel like you can do anything and stop doing it. To me, my inability to run is like and inability to breathe.

Awesome, now I’m crying again.

So what’s next?

I’m going to see my sports medicine doc at the Rothman Institute., they take care of the pros and I know they can get me back out there again as soon as possible. I have no idea what could be wrong or what exactly caused this but I know I need to find it and fix it.

I will not run until I see the doctor and I will follow whatever he tells me to do to the letter.

Really, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle being sidelined, the three weeks I took off made me miserable and highly irritable. I feel bad for Bill and the kids because as much as this is hell for me, I’m sure I’ll put them through hell whether I mean to or not.

Time for more ice and ibuprofen…And perhaps some ice cream. Wish me luck.

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