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Not the kind of self help I need

11 Oct

I’ve been trying to read more lately. Remember back in the day when I’d read 30 plus books a year? The past few years I feel like I’m lucky if I read 30 plus pages. Damn full time job always getting in the way.

I decided to make reading a priority again, something I can do not only to relax and recharge but also to better myself.

Enter the self help books

While listening to my favorite podcast a few weeks back, Jen told us about a book that was pretty life changing for her. It definitely sounded like something I should read.

I logged on to Ebay and ordered it from one of the bookselling charities I like to frequent. I was very excited when, few days later, I received shipping notification. Watching those tracking updates like a crazy person, I was so excited when I saw the book would be waiting for me in my mailbox when I returned home from work.

When I ripped open the package this is what I saw.

Loving Your Husband Before You Even Have One

The book I actually ordered was Think Like A Warrior: The Five Inner Beliefs That Make You Unstoppable. Clearly they weren’t even close with this one.

As I’m sure anyone who knows me can imagine, the first words out of my mouth were, “what the fuck?”. The very next thing I did was tear through the packaging as if the correct book were hiding somewhere in the empty bag. I opened the book and closed it again thinking that maybe I had read the cover wrong. Next, I flipped through the pages, clearly the cover on this paperback had been replaced. I looked at the packing slip, the correct book was listed so I did what any normal person would do, I picked up the book again because it had to be the right book..IT HAD TO BE! Alas, it was not.

I emailed the seller right away.

Hello! Unfortunately I was sent the wrong book. I’ve been happily married for nearly 17 years but I really need to know how to think like a warrior! Please help!

Thankfully they responded quickly and got the correct book out right away. They told me I may keep or discard the book they sent in error. I think what I’m going to do is find one of those book bins they have all over town and make a donation. Maybe some young lady will be able to use it to, “build herself a happily ever after”. You know, because you have to have a husband to have one of those.

Have you ever been sent the wrong product? A product that was so far from what you ordered it left you scratching your head while you laughed out loud? Tell me about it!


Three Things I Do To Make Life Easier

1 Sep

I’ve been back working full time, outside of the house, for just over three years. In those three years, I’ve found these three things have made my life a little easier.

Let’s face it, being a mom is hard and it doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom, a work from home mom or a mom who goes to a job all day, this shit is hard! There’s the constant guilt. It feels like no matter how early you get up or how late you stay up, there are just never enough hours in the day. The feeling that you can’t have it all can be almost too much to take sometimes.

For me, I often feel like I can be a good wife or a good mother or a good employee, but NEVER all three at once. I have yet to figure out how to juggle all three of those in perfect harmony. Those feelings used to really frustrate me and get me down until I gave myself a little grace and realized that perfect harmony doesn’t exist.

Manage expectations!

We are all our own worst critics, usually with extremely high expectations for ourselves. No matter how you slice it, the day will only ever have 24 hours. There are days when it’s not all going to get finished, but guess what…Tomorrow is another day. I have tried not to stress about the things I didn’t accomplish today, instead I focus on all that I have accomplished and save the rest for tomorrow.

I downloaded an app to help me with the things I want to get done each day. TickTick has been huge in helping me to manage my expectations and stay on task. Every morning, while I drink my coffee, I make a list of what I want to accomplish during the day. I even add things like, make the bed and work (as in go to my job) to the list. The next day, anything I didn’t accomplish from the day before is already on the list and the app lets me know just how overdue any given task is.

Take time for yourself.

Read, workout, get a massage, lock yourself in the bathroom and eat a bag of Oreo’s, whatever makes you happy and will help you hit the reset button. I try to get everything I’m going to do for the day finished by a certain time so I can relax and enjoy a few episodes of a show before I go to bed.

When I make my to do list on TickTick, I always make sure one of those things is for my benefit and my benefit alone. I always want to close the rings on my AppleWatch so I make sure that is on my to do list. That may mean I take time for a workout or do something to be active and close those rings. I go for facials and massages sometimes, those go on the to do list too.

Ask for help!

I have two children who are able-bodied, there is no reason why they can’t do a few things around the house to lighten my load. Each day I try to give them both one small item off my to do list. They will often complain, bitch and moan about it but eventually it gets done.

In the past I never asked them for help because I felt it wasn’t worth the fight and they usually didn’t complete the task to my standards. I saw the meme below and it struck a cord with me. I let them know what my standards are and told them they were expected to start pitching in. On most days they do actually lighten the load, even if it’s just by a little bit.

By managing my own expectations, taking time for myself each and every day and asking for help I have made my life so much easier and so much better. I think I’m more pleasant to be around, you’ll have to check in with my family about that though. I definitely feel less stressed than when I was trying to do it all alone and not scheduling time for things I enjoy need.

I’d love to hear how you make your day to day life a little easier, drop a comment and give me your tips.

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