Tag Archives: life

When Does This Parenting Gig Get A Little Bit Easier?

18 Oct

This shit is hard! It always has been too. From the time the morning sickness set in when I was pregnant with Cameron its been hard.

Before I go any further, let me say that I wouldn’t trade my boys for anything and I love them more than I ever thought possible. It is possible to be willing to jump in front of a bus for something or someone and still acknowledge the struggle.


I was NOT one of those glowing women who just adored being pregnant. I was big, like REALLY big. I was uncomfortable. I was generally miserable. My first pregnancy was when the insomnia started, I can still remember wandering the house all night feeling panicked about becoming a mother. And the hormones, oh the hormones, I’m not really sure how anyone close to me survived.

Labor and delivery wasn’t a picnic either. Cameron’s head was so ginormous that he nearly ripped me in half. Logan was kind enough to take so long that the epidural ran out just as we were getting down to the nitty gritty.


I don’t function well on little sleep and those boys had me up all night and then most of the day. They also had no interest in nursing which only made me feel like more of a failure as a mother.

Worrying that I was going to break them, especially Cameron (since he was first), was something always in the back of my head. The constant worry that I wasn’t feeding them the right foods. Or that I was dressing them too warm or too cold for the weather.

Then there is the amount of work that goes into babies. So much laundry. So many diapers. The constant feedings. The playing and stimulation that goes with helping their little brains develop so they can get into a good school someday.


Every time one of the boys would fall down I’d hold my breath. Was he hurt? Is he going to cry? Would someone see all the bruises this kid as acquired and think I was beating him? At one point Logan had two ER visits with head injuries within six months of each other. I thought for sure that CPS would be knocking at my door.

Diaper changes since neither of them decided to potty train until I forced it on them at the three and a half year mark. Being peed on. Catching shit in my bare hand. Changing dirty underwear a thousand times a day. I couldn’t wait for them to be potty trained, certainly life would be easier then.


The fighting and the biting between the boys (who are two and a half years apart in age) was almost more than I could handle.


OK, they can wipe their own asses, it’s time, life will be easier. They no longer need me to provide everything that they eat, they’re more self sufficient, life will be easier. I have two kids in school all day, life will be easier.

Nope. The old difficulties were replaced with new ones. Bigger kids. Bigger problems.

Learning to navigate the internet with these children who have almost constant access to it. Dealing with them being influenced from the environment outside our home. Friends and peer pressure.

The beginnings of puberty…Need I say more?

The fighting and sometimes biting still didn’t stop.


This is the part that no one could have prepared me for. The sights. The noise. THE SMELLS!

Their education has become more important. In middle and high school grades matter a lot more than they used to. Will they go to college? Will they be able to get in? About the only thing I do know if that it’s paid for…Thank the good lord for my parents!

Now we have girlfriends and social drama added to the mix. As if all of that wasn’t difficult enough, we’re doing all this during a global pandemic.

Cameron will be able to get his learner’s permit in just a few short months. Then I will have the added horror of that child behind the wheel of a car. The saying Jesus take the wheel has never felt more appropriate.

Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.

Like I said, this shit is hard! If you’re just starting out on your parenting adventure, I’m here to tell you that it’s not going to get any easier any time soon. Buckle up, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

Do you have adult children? Can you tell us, does it ever get easier to be a parent? Please let us know in the comment section on on social media. We all want to know, is there hope?


Three Things I Do To Make Life Easier

1 Sep

I’ve been back working full time, outside of the house, for just over three years. In those three years, I’ve found these three things have made my life a little easier.

Let’s face it, being a mom is hard and it doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom, a work from home mom or a mom who goes to a job all day, this shit is hard! There’s the constant guilt. It feels like no matter how early you get up or how late you stay up, there are just never enough hours in the day. The feeling that you can’t have it all can be almost too much to take sometimes.

For me, I often feel like I can be a good wife or a good mother or a good employee, but NEVER all three at once. I have yet to figure out how to juggle all three of those in perfect harmony. Those feelings used to really frustrate me and get me down until I gave myself a little grace and realized that perfect harmony doesn’t exist.

Manage expectations!

We are all our own worst critics, usually with extremely high expectations for ourselves. No matter how you slice it, the day will only ever have 24 hours. There are days when it’s not all going to get finished, but guess what…Tomorrow is another day. I have tried not to stress about the things I didn’t accomplish today, instead I focus on all that I have accomplished and save the rest for tomorrow.

I downloaded an app to help me with the things I want to get done each day. TickTick has been huge in helping me to manage my expectations and stay on task. Every morning, while I drink my coffee, I make a list of what I want to accomplish during the day. I even add things like, make the bed and work (as in go to my job) to the list. The next day, anything I didn’t accomplish from the day before is already on the list and the app lets me know just how overdue any given task is.

Take time for yourself.

Read, workout, get a massage, lock yourself in the bathroom and eat a bag of Oreo’s, whatever makes you happy and will help you hit the reset button. I try to get everything I’m going to do for the day finished by a certain time so I can relax and enjoy a few episodes of a show before I go to bed.

When I make my to do list on TickTick, I always make sure one of those things is for my benefit and my benefit alone. I always want to close the rings on my AppleWatch so I make sure that is on my to do list. That may mean I take time for a workout or do something to be active and close those rings. I go for facials and massages sometimes, those go on the to do list too.

Ask for help!

I have two children who are able-bodied, there is no reason why they can’t do a few things around the house to lighten my load. Each day I try to give them both one small item off my to do list. They will often complain, bitch and moan about it but eventually it gets done.

In the past I never asked them for help because I felt it wasn’t worth the fight and they usually didn’t complete the task to my standards. I saw the meme below and it struck a cord with me. I let them know what my standards are and told them they were expected to start pitching in. On most days they do actually lighten the load, even if it’s just by a little bit.

By managing my own expectations, taking time for myself each and every day and asking for help I have made my life so much easier and so much better. I think I’m more pleasant to be around, you’ll have to check in with my family about that though. I definitely feel less stressed than when I was trying to do it all alone and not scheduling time for things I enjoy need.

I’d love to hear how you make your day to day life a little easier, drop a comment and give me your tips.

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