This shit is hard! It always has been too. From the time the morning sickness set in when I was pregnant with Cameron its been hard.

Before I go any further, let me say that I wouldn’t trade my boys for anything and I love them more than I ever thought possible. It is possible to be willing to jump in front of a bus for something or someone and still acknowledge the struggle.

Pregnancy

I was NOT one of those glowing women who just adored being pregnant. I was big, like REALLY big. I was uncomfortable. I was generally miserable. My first pregnancy was when the insomnia started, I can still remember wandering the house all night feeling panicked about becoming a mother. And the hormones, oh the hormones, I’m not really sure how anyone close to me survived.

Labor and delivery wasn’t a picnic either. Cameron’s head was so ginormous that he nearly ripped me in half. Logan was kind enough to take so long that the epidural ran out just as we were getting down to the nitty gritty.

Babies

I don’t function well on little sleep and those boys had me up all night and then most of the day. They also had no interest in nursing which only made me feel like more of a failure as a mother.

Worrying that I was going to break them, especially Cameron (since he was first), was something always in the back of my head. The constant worry that I wasn’t feeding them the right foods. Or that I was dressing them too warm or too cold for the weather.

Then there is the amount of work that goes into babies. So much laundry. So many diapers. The constant feedings. The playing and stimulation that goes with helping their little brains develop so they can get into a good school someday.

Children

Every time one of the boys would fall down I’d hold my breath. Was he hurt? Is he going to cry? Would someone see all the bruises this kid as acquired and think I was beating him? At one point Logan had two ER visits with head injuries within six months of each other. I thought for sure that CPS would be knocking at my door.

Diaper changes since neither of them decided to potty train until I forced it on them at the three and a half year mark. Being peed on. Catching shit in my bare hand. Changing dirty underwear a thousand times a day. I couldn’t wait for them to be potty trained, certainly life would be easier then.

HA!

The fighting and the biting between the boys (who are two and a half years apart in age) was almost more than I could handle.

Tweens

OK, they can wipe their own asses, it’s time, life will be easier. They no longer need me to provide everything that they eat, they’re more self sufficient, life will be easier. I have two kids in school all day, life will be easier.

Nope. The old difficulties were replaced with new ones. Bigger kids. Bigger problems.

Learning to navigate the internet with these children who have almost constant access to it. Dealing with them being influenced from the environment outside our home. Friends and peer pressure.

The beginnings of puberty…Need I say more?

The fighting and sometimes biting still didn’t stop.

Teens

This is the part that no one could have prepared me for. The sights. The noise. THE SMELLS!

Their education has become more important. In middle and high school grades matter a lot more than they used to. Will they go to college? Will they be able to get in? About the only thing I do know if that it’s paid for…Thank the good lord for my parents!

Now we have girlfriends and social drama added to the mix. As if all of that wasn’t difficult enough, we’re doing all this during a global pandemic.

Cameron will be able to get his learner’s permit in just a few short months. Then I will have the added horror of that child behind the wheel of a car. The saying Jesus take the wheel has never felt more appropriate.

Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.

Like I said, this shit is hard! If you’re just starting out on your parenting adventure, I’m here to tell you that it’s not going to get any easier any time soon. Buckle up, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

Do you have adult children? Can you tell us, does it ever get easier to be a parent? Please let us know in the comment section on on social media. We all want to know, is there hope?

Have you seen these sweet children? I can’t find them.

The confidence that I had the first few weeks of this no yelling adventure are gone.

If I didn’t know any better I’d swear that the boys miss me yelling so much that they are acting out on purpose. Since school has let out the behavior has gotten worse than we’ve ever experienced here.

Temper tantrums, in public from a seven year old? He didn’t stamp his foot and yell this much when he was a toddler. No matter the fun activity there is always an, “I’m NOT doing that!!!” Followed by the stomp of a foot. I never even knew boys pulled that foot stomping nonsense.

Logan is naughty in a whole different way. You tell him not to do something, he looks at you, laughs and continues to do what you told him not to do. He laughs when he gets sent to timeout which only infuriates me further. I am so tired of being treated as if me and my rules are a big joke by that child. Ask him to do something and he flat out says no.

Put them both together and what do you get? The perfect storm complete with hitting, kicking and bickering. They seem to take turns bullying each other. That’s right folks, I used the “B” word.

So where am I? I am two weeks into summer break wishing the summer away so they can go back to school. Is this any way to live?

Where do I want to be? Having fun with my boys seeing new things and having new adventures.

I’m writing this from my back porch while Bill and Cameron are at the pool having fun. Where’s Logan? Spending the day in his room because he REFUSES to stop acting as if he’s been raised by wolves. I would have liked to go to the pool.

I honestly don’t know if making him spend the day in his room is going to be effective or not. Nothing seems to deter these kids from acting out and quite frankly I’m at my wits end.

There is no reasoning. No threat big enough. No reward big enough. No amount of explaining that will change their behavior…Trust me I’ve tried.

Anyone else have kids acting a little crazier than normal? Could it be something in the air?