Yesterday I posted a link to an article on the Mommyland Facebook page. It was written by a mother of teenage boys in regard to teenage girls and the photos they post. If you somehow missed it, you can find it here.

I liked the article for many reasons and I was a little surprised about the backlash she received about it. I’m not sure why I was surprised because when you write something online there is ALWAYS someone waiting to criticize it.

I applaud Mrs. Hall on taking an active role in her kid’s lives. They actually take the time to sit as a family and talk and I think that is important. I know many kids who use social media and their parent’s don’t monitor a damn thing about it. At least Mrs. Hall gives a damn enough to check in on what her kids are doing online and discuss things that they consider to be questionable. They are well within their right to say they don’t want their boys to be looking at those kinds of photos on social media.

I’m a bit confused as to why people are pissed off about this article. Let me ask the mothers of daughters something, do YOU want YOUR daughter taking provocative selfies in her bedroom or bathroom and posting them on various social media sites? Are you ok with that? I can tell you if I had a daughter I wouldn’t be. I can also tell you with certainty that that wouldn’t have flown in my parent’s house when I was growing up.

Forget what the horny teenage boys might think, how about the thousands of online predators that might come across that photo then use social media to locate your daughter. 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused before adulthood (that’s a fact Jack), why invite some creepy man on the internet to track your daughter down via social media?

I said on Facebook yesterday that I would use Mrs. Hall as my example as my boys grow up and I stand by that. I want my boys to associate with girls who know their worth is more than a sexy pose with duck lips, in her underwear. I want my boys to associate with girls who are too busy with sports, and band and other activities to care about sexy selfies. I want to have open conversations with my boys. Sure, I want them to like me but ultimately I am their mother first and foremost, not their friend. I will teach my boys to respect women and treat them right. Thankfully they have a wonderful example in how to be a man with their father.

As far as the backlash Mrs. Hall is receiving for the photos she posted of her kids, in their swimsuits, on the beach, come on people! While those aren’t the photos I would have placed with that article I think it ridiculous to even try to compare the two. In her article she talks about the selfies that girls take in their bedroom (or maybe bathroom) where they’re wearing PJ’s or next to nothing in “sexy” poses. Her kids were clearly on some kind of family vacation on the beach. Did anyone notice their little sister flexing her muscles with them? There is nothing sexual in nature about siblings having fun at the beach. Those boys weren’t trying to impress anyone, they were having fun on vacation. Duck lips and arched backs are a bit different.

If teenage girls want to have their photo taken on the beach, having fun with their friends I feel that is something completely different than what Mrs. Hall is referring to. Let’s compare apples to apples here folks.

I grew up in a pretty strict household and I’m not going to lie, I hated it sometimes. But now, as I look back, I’m grateful my parents were involved in what I did and set boundaries for me. I was never in trouble with the law or in school. I never got into drugs or underage drinking (OK, I tried weed a few times but that’s all). I had enough freedom to enjoy growing up but enough rules to keep me safe and out of trouble. Sure, social media wasn’t around when I was a teenager but I can guarantee my parent’s would have keep a close eye on what I was up to.

So what are your thoughts?

Don’t get me wrong, I love social media, I’ve made it a big part of my life and have had many rewarding experiences because of it.

But it has a down side. Sure, there are always the trolls who will sit from that safe place behind their computer screen and try their hardest to tear you down. Once you’ve been involved in social media long enough you grow a thick skin and let those nasty comments from anonymous haters just roll right off your back.

With social media it’s easy for things to get heated fast. What started as a light hearted comment turns into a debate between two people where personal insults start getting thrown around. I’ve seen that first hand. Religion, politics, sports, parenting, you name it I’ve seen people arguing via social media about it.

You might be wondering where I’m going with this, so I’ll get to my point.

Something happened a few weeks ago over twitter and I lost someone who I genuinely considered a friend. Not just a twitter friend but a real life one too. I was pretty upset about it…obviously since I’m blogging about it.

This person had been growing more and more surly online. I could have taken the comments that were being made as direct insults against my parenting ability, life, or just me as a person, but I didn’t. I figured that it as just someone letting off steam on a free forum.

This person made a comment (this time directed to me) that may or may not have insinuated I was a bad or neglectful mother. I made an innocent comment back that IN NO WAY was meant to be a low blow or a cheap shot against, anyone or their family situation. Well, this person took it as a cheap shot and unfollowed me then announced it to the world. In actuality my comment was meant to say that I’m not the neglectful mother you insinuated I am and had nothing to do with anyone’s family but my own.

Usually I couldn’t care less if people unfollow me. Hey, people change and sometimes my commentary isn’t what they’re looking for. But like I said before, I thought of this person as a real friend. I’m actually hoping that this person comes across this post and sees my side of the story. It’s sometimes hard to get your point across in 140 characters (but I did try).

Why would I take a cheap shot at something that is in my family too? Why would I take a cheap shot at anyone’s kids or parenting? I’m very much against the Mommy Wars, which would loosely fit this situation. Parenting is hard…REALLY hard and I would never knock someone’s parenting style, ability, or kids.

The problem with social media is that tone can’t be conveyed. What could be meant as a joke or in jest can easily be taken seriously. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t judge other parents, we all have our struggles and our way of handling those struggles. No parental judgement here.

Here’s something to keep in mind when using social media. While sites like facebook and twitter are free and open forums where you can say just about whatever you want, be respectful of others. Before you jump on someone for what they say or do online make sure that you’ve grasped their true intention first. Chances are you wouldn’t attack someone in real life so why is it ok to do it online?

Have you ever lost someone you thought was a friend because of social media? Although I guess if they were really a friend something so silly wouldn’t get in the way.