I’m not your maid

7 Jul

It was either Mother’s Day or my birthday that Cameron gave me a card with a button that said, “I’m not your maid!” As a stay at home mom I sometimes feel like that’s exactly what I am, a glorified maid and nanny. I clean and take care of the kids all day and when Daddy gets home it’s fun time and I know longer even exist. I totally understand why Cameron gets so excited when Bill comes home, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less when he chooses him over me all night long.

For some reason before Cameron was born I had a much more glamourous view of how motherhood would be. We would play and laugh all day, the housework wouldn’t really be work and I’d have the energy to prepare a healthy and delicious meal every night. Man was I wrong. The reality of motherhood, (at least for this mother) is feeling frazzled and overwhelmed a lot of the time, and the house is NEVER as clean as I would like it. Dinner? Ha! Most nights, even with the best of intentions Bill ends up cooking and cleaning up the dishes. Which continues the cycle of not feeling good enough. Bill works so hard all day and works some crazy hours all summer and then he has to come home to a frazzled, sometimes not showered wife and cook dinner. Before I rag on myself anymore, I’ve had to learn to let go and acknowledge that I can’t do it all all the time.
I think I had a romanticized view of what it meant to be a SAHM because my own mother made it look so easy. With the exception of my bedroom, our home was always immaculate. There was always a good meal on the table for dinner, and it was always prepared by my mother (since Dad couldn’t cook if our lives depended on it). My mom was my girl scout leader for as long as I can remember and always came to my games and competitions. Damn it Mom, why did you have to set the bar so freaking high?!
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