Back in May a local rescue reached out to me about a tiny Yorkie they had coming on a transport from Alabama. I fell in love with her picture and started the process of talking Bill into a third dog.

On the day the transport arrived I made my way over to the rescue to meet my newest baby. She was even smaller than she looked in the picture, coming in at just under three pounds. When I reached in to grab her out of her crate she tried to bite me and wouldn’t let me pick her up. Eventually we just dumped her out of the crate and she finally let me pick her up.

I wasn’t too sure this one was going to work out but she was too cute not to try.

Welcome Home Bella

She fit in immediately.

Bella enjoyed all the attention and quickly let us know that she was a total princess. Belly rubs are a favorite but she also loves her, “bedtime brushies”.

At first she’d hang close to me, like my little shadow. That didn’t last long.

Bella picked her person

And it wasn’t me!

She is completely obsessed with Bill, she follows him everywhere he goes. She only likes to sit with him. Bella snuggles close to Bill in bed, so much so that I’m worried she’s going to be crushed. The most disturbing thing though is how she reacts when I hug or kiss or even just try to be near Bill.

Like a jealous girlfriend she goes nuts. She barks and growls then tries to get between us. If she could talk I’m sure she’d say, “Get away from my man you bitch!”

The other morning when Logan put on sports radio while he showered, Bella jumped up as soon as she heard the DJ’s voice. She ran to the bathroom door and started sniffing underneath it to sniff out her daddy. Clearly she associates that DJ’s voice with hanging out in the office with Bill and she thought he’d returned home without letting her know.

Why him?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little hurt and jealous that Bella picked Bill. I know it’s ridiculous.

He didn’t even want her! I had to jump through hoops of fire to have him agree to bring another dog into the house. If it wasn’t for me, who knows where she would have ended up.

Bella was supposed to be my dog!

He loves her too

She is like the daughter he never had. He picks her up whenever she wants him to. He’ll carry her around and he always makes sure her blankie is close at hand.

It’s easy to see that, much like he is her favorite human, she is his favorite dog. Bella is Bill’s sidekick and while I’m a little jealous of my three pound dog, I think it’s kind of cute.

Any tips on how I can compete for Bella’s affection? Bill has the clear advantage being that he works from home while I’m out in an office all day. Help me make her love me too!

Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death. I love him with the unconditional love you save for your children or maybe your husband. He’s a vital part of our little family.

But Cooper can be a huge asshole.

He barks at everything! A gust of wind makes a noise outside and he jumps up and starts barking. The train whistle blows and he starts barking. Someone knocks on the door and he looses his mind barking.

Alright, maybe not every single time these things happen. It’s usually when the house is quiet and I’m totally engrossed in something…Like General Hospital or taking a shower.

Cooper hates my neighbor with a red hot passion. Every time he sees the guy he growls and barks at him like some kind of psychotic Cujo. The other day my neighbor stopped by (after dark) to drop off a package that was left at his house by mistake and I swear Cooper tried to bite his kneecaps off. It was kind of embarrassing really embarrassing.

The dog finds a way, nearly every night, to keep me up and ruin my sleep. If it’s not snuggling as close to me as he can with his hot little body, he’s sitting at the end of the bed scratching and making all kinds of noise. I have a king size bed and there have been nights when it’s just me and Cooper in it and I’m somehow left clinging to the very edge, just inches from hitting the floor.

Cooper has no issue pooping in the house. To his credit on this one, he usually does it in the boy’s bathroom so at least he has the right idea. He screws around when I take him out, sniffing the air or trying to chase the deer, then he comes inside and poops. Thankfully he’s only ten pounds so his turds are small and easy to clean and of course it’s nice that it’s in the bathroom and not on the rug somewhere.

Oh, let’s not forget about that time he locked himself in my truck WITH the keys and the police had to be called.

He’s a little dog who thinks he’s huge and wants to kill anything that he sees as a threat to his family…Which is just about everything.

Cooper is kind of an asshole.

But he’s MY asshole and I love him very much. He’s my sidekick. He cheers me up when I’m feeling low. He keeps me company when Bill travels and I’m lonely. I know Cooper will always be my pint-sized protector, just like I will always be his loving mommy.

Do you have a dog that can be an asshole from time to time? Tell me about your poochie.